Prior. It is a terrible Thing to consider, if half the Money paid for French Wine, was laid out in Building and Planting here, what a Garden they wou'd make of this whole Island; and instead of this, they make the Bottle the Business of their Lives, and sacrifice to this noble Passion, I will not say their Country, (for that no body minds) but their Healths and their Fortunes as readily as their Reason. It is odd to me, Mr. Dean, if we must use foreign Wines, why we do not make those of Portugal, Spain, Italy and Sicily, cheap by low Duties, and the French twice as dear by high ones; for by this means, we cou'd get Drunk with the Loss of less Time, and Health, and Money. If even such a Tax was laid on it, as would make its Consumption less general, and hinder the poorer part of our People, from being ruin'd by the dreadful Affectation, of drinking like the Men of Figure and Fashion, it wou'd be an excellent Method; and above all if the additional Taxes, were appropriated to extend the Linen Manufacture thro' the Southern Provinces. This wou'd soon enrich us, and impoverish at the same Time, the great Enemy to the repose of Europe; for 'tis by her Wines and our Money chiefly, that France has been enabled, to soar towards Universal Monarchy, and if this Feather was pluck'd from her, she wou'd soon shorten her Flights, and droop her Wings.
Swift. You think extravagantly and wildly! You cheat yourself like most Projectors, with your own Dreams, and your Expectations are suited only to Citizens, who live and act, Tanquam in Republica Platonis. Can you be so absurd as to hope, that Men in these Days, and in Manners like ours, shou'd listen to Reason; and think our own Beer, Ale, Cyder, Mead and home Wines, fittest and best for themselves, their Friends and their Families? Can you imagine that this Age of Intemperance and Luxury, will think a while of these important Truths, instead of pleasing their Palates, and driving off that heavy Load, their Time, with the Roar of Jollity and Riot? Is it to be expected that good Fellows and Pot Companions, will be influenced by a Regard for the Welfare of Ireland, when they will not value their own Healths, nor avoid all the Distempers we lately reckon'd up, as well as all the nervous Disorders, that spring from the fatal Tartar, which Claret by sad Experience is found to abound with? I was weak enough, to read Physick Books in my old Age, and I remember Galen told me, that in all Wine there is something Indigestible in its self, and ruinous to true complete Concoction; but our best modern Physicians do also assert, that the Tartar in French Wine, is the Fountain of a Crowd of Plagues and Pains, to our wretched Bodies. We read this in a Number of Authors, and have the Tradition handed down, from the Records of the Dead and the Living, who have suffered by neglecting such good Advice; but where are the Recabites that will listen to such Councils, in these drinking Days.
Prior. But as destructive as Wine is to us, we must not forget the dreadful Effects, Spirituous Liquors have on our Country and our Bodies. They are really a sort of Liquid Flames, which corrode the Coats of the Stomach, thicken the Juices, and enflame the Blood, and in a Word, absolutely subvert the whole Animal Oeconomy. The frequent use of them, has had as bad Effects on our poor Natives, as Gin in Great Britain; and besides driving many Wretches into Thefts, Quarrels, Murders and Robberies, it kills as many of the Poor, (when Drunk to excess) as Wine does of the Rich. Even our own renowned Whisky, tho' it has banish'd the Brandies of France, yet is almost as pernicious to our Healths and our Morals; tho' we have this poor Comfort, since Spirituous Liquors we must have, that it is better to pay our Irish Farmers, for destroying us, (if we must be destroy'd) than the French Vignarons about Bourdeaux.
Swift. I allow indeed our Irish Spirits, are preferable to those made in France; but after all, the chief good Quality of them is, that the King gets a prodigious encrease of his Revenue, by our Stills. It were to be wish'd, that this Part of his Majesty's Duties, that is founded on the Intemperance of his People, was supplied by some other Tax; for it is dreadful to consider, how much the Crown is interested, that the Subject shou'd neither be frugal or sober. The Duty on our Spirits is the best paid Money in the World, unless we except what we pay for our Wine; for I think the only Debts we pay well, are to the Merchant who Poisons us, and the Sharpers who bubble us at Play. If I were alive, I wou'd write a Book against the dreadful Intemperance of this Age and this Country; tho' I doubt if it wou'd do us much Service; for there is a Time, when the noblest Medicines are of no Use in a Distemper, and I fear our political Diseases are now so desperate, that to die as easily as we can, and to put it off as long as we can, is all our poor Country can hope for. I will therefore leave this, and go to another great Obstacle to the welfare of Ireland, and that is the want of Tillage amongst us.
Prior. That is indeed, Mr. Dean, a terrible Evil, and like most of our Evils, chiefly owing to ourselves. We do not want this additional Hardship to many others, that what we earn by our Labours in good Years, goes all from us in a scarce one, and leaves us either without Food or without Money.
Swift. Surely if repeated Sufferings make us patient, we might expect that our frequent Misfortunes, might make us Wise; and yet Famines are not able to oblige us to Plow, nor our Legislature to force us to it, by salutary Laws. One wou'd believe there were neither Thinkers or Reasoners, (unpoison'd by French Wine) left in Ireland. Are we to be a Nation of Beasts, and a few Savages to watch them, and only some Landlords and Butchers to divide the Spoil, and share the Plunder of a Nation, wasted of its Villages and People, as William Rufus, serv'd part of Kent, to feed his Deer? Good God! what a Scandal are we growing, to all the Kingdoms of the Earth, that set up for a regulated Government, or a sensible equal Polity? Surely, Tom, Men with common Sense, and common Industry, might make something else of this fertile Country, than a wild solitary Extent of Pastures; and that Men and civilized Creatures, might thrive here as well as Beasts and Barbarians; and that we need not let this poor Region, look like the one ey'd Polyphemus's Island, spoil'd of its Inhabitants, and occupied only by his Sheep and his Cattle? We all know, Grazing makes Countries wild and [ horrid], their People slothful and uncultivated as the Soil; but one might bear any Fault but starving; and yet every three or four Years, Men here are near famishing for want of Bread, and ready to eat up each other, like Lord Al——ms' Dogs in the Kennel. It is hard to say, what sort of People we are, for it is strange that the universal Instinct, that governs all the lower Ranks of Animals, or that the great Law of Self-preservation, does not influence our Countrymen so far, as to provide their own Bread. Not to Insult us with wiser Nations, I wou'd at least expect, that we shou'd shew ourselves, as provident as the Republick of Ants, and keep something to preserve Life and Soul together, when Want and Winter come. We seem to be quite uninfluenced by Hopes or Fears, the two great ruling Passions of the Soul; and as merry and improvident, as so many Grass-hoppers. In other Countries if Sheep eat up Men, the Men have their Revenge and eat up Sheep; but in Ireland, wretched, thoughtless Ireland, Sheep eat up more Men than all the Wolves on the Earth, without our poor Natives, being able to devour one of them, but now and then, when [ we ] Steal them, just to keep Life and Soul together.
Prior. The very Earth seems to cry out against us, Mr. Dean, for our want of labouring it, as it is ready to reward the Industrious, with fertile Crops, and large Returns. He who will work up its natural Strength sufficiently, need never want Food or Raiment, or a good warm Cabbin, to encourage him to go on, and by honest Care and Toils, in Time enrich himself and his Country. We observ'd before, that the Women who were once the idlest part of our People, are now the most Industrious; and if the Men will improve as fast at the Plow, as they have done at the Wheel, we shou'd soon see a vast Change in our Circumstances. Our pinch'd miserable way of Living, wou'd be turn'd to Plenty and Neatness, Warmth and Health; and the Plow wou'd enliven the Wheel and the Reel, and keep every Child, and every Sex in Motion. All this we may hope from good and wise Governors; of such force is Thinking for the Body, when the Body in return, will Work to make itself and the Mind easy. If our Rulers and Legislators, wou'd once heartily set about contriving, to get us Bread out of our own Fields, and oblige us by Laws to till the Ground sufficiently, we might soon see our People and their Children, as busy as so many Japonese Villagers, when the Earth is loaded with their Harvests. However, I fear neither of these Things will be done, till we are forc'd to it, by seeing Twenty-Thousand poor Mortals starv'd once more, and twice as many driven out of our Country; just as we see People seldom build Bridges over the River, till they find Numbers of Travellers, have been drown'd in Fording it.
Swift. A Foreigner wou'd think it as absurd, to hear that our Natives want Food, while we Export such amazing Quantities of Provisions; as that the Commonalty round Newcastle, wanted Firing, tho' they furnish London with their Coals. He wou'd ask, why we don't Tax such a mad Exportation, and by laying Twelve-pence per Barrel, on all salted Beef and Pork, raise a Fund for Premiums, to the greatest Number of Acres plow'd in each County; that at least we may have Bread for our Natives, who dare not hope for Flesh to eat with it. 'Tis a sad and a reproachful Prospect to us, to observe the Chinese levelling Mountains, banking in Rivers, and draining Morasses, to improve and Dung them for the Plow; and to see in Ireland, as fertile Plains as any in the Earth, lying untill'd, and feeding Sheep and Bullocks, instead of Men, of Industrious social thinking Creatures! The Plow is the Cause that China swarms with large Cities and Villages, and 'tis from the want of Tillage, that I remember to have seen in Munster, the wretched Tenants, as ill-housed as so many Hottentots; which proceeds from the same Defect, the Country there is so little Populous. Great Towns, and fair Villages, are not only the Strength and Ornament of any Country, but good Dwellings do naturally encrease Children, as a Barn does Mice, and from the same Reason too. Besides Buildings like those in China, always bring Crowds of Artificers together, as they are sure of Business and Employment from them; and thence also the Country too, must become thicker Planted and better Peopled; but in Ireland, all these Blessings are as hopeless, and as rare as Virtue, Wisdom or Industry. Without Tillage properly follow'd and encourag'd, 'tis impossible our Numbers will ever encrease sufficiently; nay they must necessarily decline every Day; nor shall we be able to feed tolerably, those Remnants of our Countrymen, whom our Flocks of Sheep, and Herds of Bullocks, don't drive to France and America, those great Drains of wretched Ireland. But what is fully as bad is, that without Tillage, we shall be perpetually drawing off what little Money we have, and Bread will be so dear, that 'tis impossible but other Nations who feed cheaper, must undersell us in our Manufactures. Besides how can there be any depending on stated Prices for our Goods, while Bread is constantly so fluctuating in its Value, as it is in Ireland; since the Wages of the Workmen, will ever depend on the Price he pays for his Food? This is by the bye, a Circumstance, which must for ever shut out the Linen Business from Munster, and all the grazing Counties; it being absolutely impossible for it to subsist, without Tillage and Hands, which ever go together. It cannot be the Profit, that endears Grazing to the Southern Provinces; since many excellent Authors, and particularly Mr. Dobbs, have clearly demonstrated the vast Difference, betwixt Tillage and Grazing, as to the real Gain by each; and it is clear we lose one Year with another, 200,000l. to our Country, by this impolitick Turn to Stocks. This is enough in Conscience, one wou'd imagine for this unthinking Kingdom; but we must add to this Loss also, the Multitudes, we force Abroad or starve at Home, and the real Gain we shou'd make by their Arts and Labour, and the encrease of Houses, Marriages, Children, Health, Wealth and Plenty, which they naturally bring with them. If our wise Graziers wou'd once consider these Things, and that our Northern Colonies in America, are supplying those in the South with Beef, and threatning to beat us by Degrees out of that Trade, they will perceive how necessary it is, to have a Law for Tillage, and that without it, we may say with the Ægyptians, 'We be all dead Men.' This I am sure of, and I will only add that 'tis in vain to make Laws, for encouraging our Linen, or to expect to keep Money enough in our Kingdom, to pay our Rents, or circulate Trade, when such prodigious Sums, go out annually for Grain, by which, and the vast Importation of French Wine, we are now actually on the very Brink of Bankruptcy and Ruin.
Swift. I know no better way to convince any one, of the superior Advantages, arising from Tillage, compar'd to those by Grazing, then to make him consider the Circumstances of the People in Ulster, and those in the other Provinces. In the first, all are laborious, all are well Cloath'd, well Fed, well Housed and Taught; in the last, all Lazy, Naked, Starv'd, Lodg'd in dirty Hutts, and almost Illiterate. The superior Advantages which the North so eminently enjoys, proceed not so much from the different Genius's, of the two opposite Religions, which prevail there, and in the South, (tho' that is something) but from Tillage and Labour, and all the Arts [ 'tis employ'd in], being fixt in Ulster. This shews the Care we shou'd take, to encourage Tillage in this half starv'd Island, and the wisest Nations have ever thought they cou'd not take too much about it. Aulus Gellius tells us, that the wise Romans kept Inspectors, over the Agriculture of their People, who took due Care, that every one manag'd their Grounds, in the most skilful and useful Manner, and to instruct the Ignorant and punish the Refractory. At this Day, Pere du Halde assures us, that the Chinese do in the most rigid Manner, oblige every one to sow their Grounds or forfeit them; and they appoint judicious Surveyors, who every Year, make Returns to the Magistrates, of the several Plow-Lands, and their different Fertility. This may convince us, what these two wise Nations thought, of the Benefit of Agriculture; and if any Thing cou'd make us renounce our destructive Passion for Grazing, one might tell them, that 'tis recommended by him that made the Earth, in many Passages of holy Writ; and if you remember, Moses also Assigns it, as one Reason for God's creating Adam, That Man was wanted to Till the Ground. When I was talking of the Roman and Chinese Inspectors of their Tillage, I shou'd have mention'd that the Jews had such also; for we find the Names of those who in David's Time, were Superintendants of such Matters, recorded in the [ 3]Chronicles. Possibly in these blessed Times for Acting and Thinking freely, we shou'd not relish such Dictators to the Plow, nor any penal Laws to enforce our Tillage; but certain I am, that without some Laws that will execute themselves, (how averse soever we may be to them) we shall still continue in the utmost Danger of Beggary and Famine. We may very well submit, even to such compulsatory Laws in this Kingdom, since every one may read in our Histories, that England was often oblig'd, to force her Subjects to return to the Plow, when the lazy Method of pasturing Cattle, had distrest that Kingdom; and 'tis chiefly to the Statutes made by the two last Henries and Edward the VIth, that she owes the Blessing, of her being now the Granary of Europe, and of her enjoying the Advantages of having improv'd her Agriculture, beyond all other Nations. It is to be hop'd, if our late Act to encrease our Tillage, was properly amended, and form'd so as to make the Recovery of the Penalties more easy, it wou'd have very happy Effects here; as Agriculture is the Source of Plenty, and the nursing Mother of Arts and Manufactures. We observ'd before, that to see Beggars in any well regulated State, is a reproach to its Laws and Government; but to see a Nation of Beggars, is too scandalous to have it exemplified in any Kingdom but Ireland; and yet without an effectual Law for Tillage, that must unquestionably be our Misfortune for a while, and in some Years our Ruin. I am at a Loss how to account for this universal Conspiracy to destroy ourselves, which is the more alarming, as our own Plots against our own Happiness generally succeed. Have we made a Vow of Poverty, like the Capuchin Friars, or have we entred into a Confederacy to enrich every Country but our own? For if not, whence comes it, that above all other Nations we have the finest Ports, without Ships or Trade, the greatest Number of able Hands, without any care of Employing them, and that we are blest with so many Millions, of rich arable Acres without Plowing them, and such Numbers of Men of Rank and Fortune, without proper Zeal or Spirit, to remedy these Evils which we groan under? But there are two Instances of our Folly as to Tillage, that I cannot pass by. The first is, that we chuse the North, for the main Store-House of the Kingdom, where we have not only the barrenest Lands, but the worst Seasons, and where the Wet and Bleakness of the Country, produce tardy Harvests, fierce Winds and heavy Rains; and where the Ground is not near so fit for the Production of Wheat, as the rich Plains of our other Provinces, that lye nearer to the Sun. The other Instance of our Folly, is our rejecting in the Year 1710, the Bill transmitted from England, that allowed a large Premium for our exported Corn, which wou'd have been the greatest Encouragement to our Tillage, and consequently the greatest Blessing to this unfortunate Kingdom. I will not reckon up the Millions it wou'd have sav'd us, that have since gone out for Bread; nor those it wou'd have gain'd us, by the encrease of our Manufactures, and the keeping busy at Home, all the Hands we have been depriv'd of by subsequent Famines; but I will say this, that as our Zeal for his Majesty's Succession, our dread of the Pretender, and our Jealousy of the Duke of Ormond's popular Arts, made us then throw out that Act; so it is to be hop'd, that the King will in the Generosity of his Soul, restore us that desireable Bill which we lost for him.
Prior. I heartily wish it, Mr. Dean, and tho' we had then a Lord Lieutenant highly regarded by the Ministry, favour'd by the Queen, and greatly belov'd in Ireland, yet it is as true, that we have one at present, who is not inferior to him in those Advantages, and vastly superior to him in others; and who certainly has as sincere a desire to serve us, as ever possest a Boulter, a Berkeley or a Swift, for I will not presume to join my Name with such Patriots. I hope we shall find it so by Experience, but whenever he does procure us that Blessing, if he wou'd complete our Obligations to him, and endear himself for ever to Ireland, he must add to it, the establishing Granaries in Dublin, Cork, and such Parts of the Kingdom, where they will be the most useful to those great Ends, the keeping Bread at a fix'd Price, as well as our Manufactures, and the Wages of those who Work them, whose Labour must ever depend on their Food. Without these, we must live dependent on Accidents, Winds and Seasons, and the Mercy of Corn-Factors; and as both the old Jews and the old Romans, had such Store-Houses, and the wisest Governments in Europe, made use of them with the exactest Providence, and to the greatest Advantage under proper Regulations; surely we shall not be depriv'd of such Blessings long. They are the great security to the Welder, that his Grain shall bear a fair encouraging Price, and at the same Time a Restraint on the rapacious Avarice of the Farmer, and the Corn-Chandler abroad and at Home; and as by being furnish'd in cheap Years, and all Exportations stopt till they're fill'd, they wou'd keep a fair Balance on the Price of Bread, he who desires to be bless'd by the Poor and the Industrious here, will not fail to add this Favour to all that we hope to receive from him.