Swift. What dost thou talk of dividing us? I hope that Word was not aim'd at me. I am not for Divisions (nor let me whisper you in the Ear, Tom) Unions either, till I see more Cause. But in the mean Time, I say since England makes so much by Ireland, she ought to help us to get something for ourselves, if it was for no other Reason but to double her Gain by us. But it is amazing how a Nation so sensible and enterprizing as she is generally allow'd to be, can so long over look the vast Advantages she might draw from us, if we were cultivated and improv'd under her Direction. Can she be Ignorant how useful, so large and so fertile a Country may be to her, where Hands and Food are so easily had, and may be turn'd to every Manufacture she wants, as effectually as the Motion of an Army by a skilful General. And if she knows it, can she neglect it? Does she want to be told, where she may most properly and providently give all the vast Sums she pays, for Hempen and Linen Manufactures to our Neighbours round the Baltick? Does she understand what Gain she wou'd make, if the Lands here were raised by Trade and Manufactures, to a Million more than they now set for, and how soon this may be done? Is she yet to learn, that by encouraging the Woollen Business here, in such Articles only, as her Rivals undersell her in, she wou'd effectually recover them out of their Hands, by employing the Irish, who by paying no Taxes on their Milk and Potatoes, can undersell the World? Is she Ignorant what she might make, by compleatly working our Mines, by opening our Trade to her Plantations effectually, and to Name no more by setting up extended Fisheries here, (the Gain from which one wou'd be tempted to think, was hinted by Christ's bidding St. Peter, take Money out of the Fishes Mouth) and thereby besides the Profit of what we vend, breeding Thousands of Mariners to man her Navy. If these are certain Facts, I hope you will allow me without Grumbling, to assert two plain Truths; first that there never was a Nation so Affectionate, so Loyal as Ireland; and secondly, That there never was a rebellious People so much suspected, so long neglected, and so saintly, so coldly encourag'd to serve her.
Prior. Tho' I cannot agree with you, Mr. Dean, in some of these Particulars, yet I will avoid Wrangling with an old Friend; but I must say you are too ready to lay blame upon England; when our own People are more to be reproach'd than our Neighbours, who have more Affairs of their own on their Hands, than they can get well manag'd. If we fairly weigh Things, we will find our Countrymen faulty in many Regards; and indeed I have such a Bead-roll of Accusations against them, that I know not where I had best begin the Attack.
Swift. Hold! Tom, hold! Dead or Living, I wou'd never allow any Man to attack Ireland, but myself; however when I am out of Breath, you shall be permitted to assist me now, and then. I must ingeniously own, I see so many Mistakes in their ways of Thinking and Acting, that the more I consider them, the more I look on Ireland, as in a dangerous Condition. The first Thing I shall touch at, is that terrible want of publick Spirit, which we are notoriously defective in; tho' like the Pulse in the human Body, where it is wanting, Death is nigh! all Countries are greatly help'd by this noblest Passion of the human Mind: But this Island must be absolutely lost, without its Assistance. We are so Circumstanced in several Views, that nothing can keep us above Water, and much less make us flourish, but the whole of our Gentry, joining one and all, to rouse themselves and the Nation, by encouraging every Art, every additional Method of employing us, that they can settle here. And yet how few have I known, who exerted themselves this way, or seem'd to know it was their Interest, or to think it their Duty. I remember in some Accounts of Portugal, I have met a Relation of the vast Good that is done there, by the famous merciful Society, as they call it very deservedly. It is composed of the most distinguish'd Persons in the Kingdom, who all contribute their Quota's to the relieving in a private Manner, all deserving People, (and Tradesmen especially) who are in want. The Steward who is annually Chosen, is always one of the most Illustrious of the Nobility; and cannot avoid spending 5000 l. in these Charities, to come off with Honour, and keep up the Glory of his Trust. Now I will venture to affirm, tho' we have vastly the Superiority over Portugal, as to the Numbers of Noblemen and Gentlemen of great Fortunes in Ireland; yet it wou'd be a vain Attempt to endeavour to establish such a generous Society here. This makes me Tremble for a People so deserted and neglected as ours; for unless the Rich, and the Great, and the Powerful, give largely to the Encouragement of Arts and Industry, and set Examples of Virtue and Goodness, and a Love of their Country before us, there can be little hopes of this or any other Nation, being made completely easy or happy. Men of larger Fortunes, shou'd shew they have larger Hearts than others, or they ought like the old Romans to suffer a voluntary Degradation, and descend from their State and mix with the meanest Plebeians. If they Act so as to do Honour to their Ancestors, and give shining Proofs of Truth, Piety, Worth and Benevolence; Numbers will Copy them with Joy; but without this, we may as well expect an Army will be brave, where the Generals, Colonels and Captains are Cowards, as that a Nation shall shew publick Spirit, or be Virtuous, Religious and Charitable, where their Superiors have opposite Characters. Let all who are eminent for Wealth or Birth, or Parts, seriously lay this to Heart, and consider how much the Immorality and Misery, or the Virtue and Prosperity of their Country, is chargeable to them and their Conduct; and it will not fail of stirring up a generous Emulation, who shall be most distinguish'd, in assisting the whole of our People, in Thinking and Acting better, and more nobly than they have hitherto done.
Prior. That too few have Acted thus, must be acknowledg'd; but some there have been among them, who have done Honour to their Families, and raised their own Characters, by the applauded Parts they have Acted, for the Service of their Country.
Swift. At the same Time, Tom, one wou'd wonder such Examples shou'd not be more frequent; for how dreadful how contemptible a Figure, in the sight of God and Man, must he make, who with the Advantages of Birth, and Fortune, and Power, seems to labour to be remembred, Living and Dead, only for being given up to the basest and most brutal Vices, or at best for his senseless Splendour, by living like an Epicure, or acting the Gamester, or for his great Stables or well-cover'd Table, his well-fill'd Cellar, or to heighten his Character still higher, his Debts and his Drabs. Such Men ruin and corrupt the World, by their Examples; they sneer at Virtue and Sobriety, they make a Jest of loving or serving this poor Island, and Ridicule the very Name of a Patriot; and while they withhold their Contribution, to every good Design, they make Sport of lavishing their Fortunes in Folly, and ruining their Constitution by Vice, and they even Laugh at Religion, and shew an equal Contempt for their God and their Country. It is odd, that few can be Stupid enough not to see, that every Man's private Interest and Happiness, let him be ever so great, is involv'd in that of the Publick; and yet few or none will Labour to serve the Publick, so far as to think for or support its Interest, whenever they have an Opportunity. I labour'd to rouse it up amongst us, for a Number of Years, to no Purpose, and I am apprehensive, that our best Ground to hope, to see this Spirit revive here, is that Posterity may hereafter exert it effectually, when they see this Island ruin'd; by the little Regard that is shewn for it now. However I must say (if any Thing in Ireland were worth complaining about) that it is a little hard, we must be Ruin'd before we are reform'd, just as Shipwrecks set up Light-houses, to secure future Sailors in their Voyages. This wou'd enrage one, Tom, if a noble Scorn did not cool our Fury.
Prior. These Thoughts disturb the Breasts of the Dead, as well as the Passions of the Living; for it is certain if our higher People shew'd a true publick Spirit, it wou'd produce vast Effects amongst us; it wou'd stir up Invention, Industry and Emulation, and in a Word awaken every Genius, every useful Man in this Kingdom. We have had very extraordinary Persons Born and Educated here, and we wou'd have them still, if our Leaders wou'd make use of that plain Method, by proper Premiums to raise Seed-Beds and Nurseries for them, and use our Youth to think, and to excell. How easily might they call out every one's best Qualities, to the properest Purposes, and encourage every Man, who finds he has the Seeds of Virtue, the Power of Thinking and Acting for himself or others, and a proper force of Mind, to try how far his Abilities can go. If this can't be brought about, and if for want of such a miserable Stock of common Sense and common Virtue in Ireland, we are to be left to ourselves, and employ'd in doing nothing but making a little Linen, I can only say, we are the most negligent and neglected People under Heaven.
Swift. Ah Tom! Tom! what must we think of our Physicians, where our Diseases are so dangerous and are yet so manageable, and where the Remedies are so easy and parable? Where nothing but slighting our Disorders can make our Cure doubtful, and where they give over the Patient barely for want of being feed? What must become of a Country, where about 600,000 l. of its Rents are annually spent Abroad, by a Crowd of Parricides, which we call Absentees; where as much more is spent at home, in foreign Growths or Manufactures by Irish Suicides, and the rest is laid out in Dress and Equipage, in Gaming and Drinking, and Horse-Racing, except a Pittance that is scrambled for, by our Labourers and Workmen to buy Potatoes and Whisky, and once in a Month, half a Peck of Meal for the Children of the Nation. What will become of a Kingdom, whose Manufactures are the Scorn of its own Inhabitants; who will not Drink of their own Liquors, write on their own Paper, or be fed with their own Bread, as I observ'd before, and can't observe too often: Nay, where the Poor by giving into these fine Fashions, seem as well inclin'd to destroy us as the Rich? What must become of a Nation of Beggars, and none to relieve them? What must become of a Country, where the common People make as much Interest, to be put on the List of the Parish Poor, and be authorized to Starve upon Charity; as their Landlords, and 'Squires do to get a Place or a Sallary, to make amends to them, for outrunning their Fortunes, and to appear like dignified Beggars, who for ruining themselves and the Nation, are Nursed at the publick Charge, as the Athenians used to keep their true Patriots, in the Areopagus on Pension, when old and reduced in their Service.
Prior. Why indeed, Mr. Dean——
Swift. Indeed, Tom, I have not done, nor I won't be interrupted. I say what will become of a Nation, where we are charg'd so immensely for unbuilt or ill-built Barracks, for our Soldiers which we cannot use, which we did not want; and where we won't lay out a necessary Expence to build Houses of Correction, that wou'd force every Idler to Labour, and tho' we know that Idleness is the Seed of Rebellion? What will become of a Nation, where we spend immensely to ruin it, and grudge laying out a few Shillings, or the smallest Tax to serve it, by encouraging our People to Labour and be Industrious? Where we are grown so heedless and unthinking, that our political Creed, must be as often repeated in our Ears, as our Religious one, before we will take care to understand, or shew we believe it by our Practice? Where we are so notoriously Dull, or so artificially Insensible, that we must be told our true Interest a thousand Times over, before we'll regard it, or where those who know our true Interest best, will Sacrifice it either to their Vanity, Ease, Pleasure or Ambition, or at least to their giddy, senseless, Carelessness? What must become of a Kingdom, where we are grown so resign'd, that we no more offer to complain of the hardness of our Case, if two or three honest Gentlemen bid us hold our Tongue, than a dying Man against the Will of Heaven? Where we either seem to have lost the Sense of Groaning by the length of our Distemper, or by knowing from long Experience, it will be in vain; or else that we fear bawling, as in the House of Correction, will but increase the Blows, both as to Number and Smart. Where People keep their Tongues in their Pockets, as Highway-Men do their Pistols, never to be pull'd out but in hopes of getting Money; and where so many, of our most eminent Guardians and Representatives, command Men to be silent and quiet and bear all, as the Executioner said to Don [ 4]Carlos, when he was struggling to hinder his being Strangled, ''Tis for your good Don Carlos! be quiet, 'tis for your Good!' Nay what will become of a Nation, where whoever Attempts to help it, is either mark'd out for Destruction, as I was by a certain Lord Chief Justice, or revil'd and hated.
Prior. There Dean, you must give me leave to say, you certainly go too far, to hate our Benefactors is not in human Nature.