It often happens that a bright, superior girl marries a quiet, bashful fellow, in whom her friends do not see anything worth marrying for. But it is certain the girl has discovered under all the young man’s reserve and diffidence, superior traits of character that have secured her attention and love.
This may be illustrated by an incident in which the actors are personally known to the writer.
Frank W—— was a young man of more than common intelligence and strength of character, but he was so obstinately bashful and retiring that his real worth was entirely unappreciated by his acquaintances. He rarely ventured out to parties, &c., and when he did, was entirely eclipsed by all the ready-tongued young men in the room. Now this Frank W—— was irretrievably in love with the most charming young lady in town, Miss Louisa L——, who understood and appreciated W——, and often gave his society marked preference, to the surprise and disgust of the before-mentioned ready-tongued fellows, yet was careful to give no indication by which W—— could hope he had secured her affections. Thus matters went on a couple of years, and W—— was almost in despair, though he had really made more progress than he had imagined. But an accident occurred that brought matters to an agreeable termination. They were out for a ride, with a spirited horse one autumn afternoon, and in going down a steep hill a rein broke, and the animal dashed forward at a tremendous pace. W—— turned quietly towards Miss L——, and giving her an assuring look, placed a foot on the dasher-board, and with a leap placed himself fairly astride the animal. Leaning forward and seizing the beast by the nostrils he twisted her head suddenly to one side, and brought the whole affair to a stand-still within half-a-dozen rods. Soothing the excited horse by a little gentle stroking, W—— united the rein, and then coolly drove on as if nothing had happened.
“I then and there decided to marry him,” said Miss L——, relating the incident. “I concluded that one who could perform such a daring and dangerous act, and regard it with quiet indifference, was a true and noble man, and one whom I could implicitly trust.” And she was right, for a woman never secured a better or more faithful husband.
A bashful young man who had the appearance of no great amount of spirit, complained to his father of his want of success in winning the esteem of a certain proud young lady. “You can swim, Sam?” “Yes, sir.” “Well, the next time you go sailing with that girl, manage to dip her into the stream, without letting her suspect you; then rescue her like a man. Or do anything else that will show that you have some life and pluck, and you’ll find she has an improved opinion of you directly.”
And the pith of wisdom is in this bit of paternal advice.
NOT BASHFUL.
Rather than be a bashful, blushing, stuttering booby, it would be much better for a young man to be over-confident and bold. With the latter qualities his chances of success in any direction in life, would be infinitely better. And it is the stout, true heart that finds favor with the ladies. Women love to be sought, and have attention paid them. It is their nature to be timid, trustful and confiding. They love to rely upon and feel the support of manly strength. Now a timid, bashful fellow does not possess those qualities that women most admire, and to possess them should be a bashful person’s foremost ambition.
The boy who hangs his head and sucks his thumb when spoken to by a stranger, and who is generally to be found moping behind the kitchen fire, looking at a picture book, is not the mother’s favorite. The saucy little chap who sticks his fists into his breeches pocket, and don’t see anything in strangers to fear; who rides the colts bare-back; who don’t like the girls because they can’t climb after bird’s eggs; who sails about the pond on a six foot plank; and is the leader in all kinds of boyish mischief;—this is the brave and fearless boy that fills his mother’s heart with secret pride and joy. “The spunky little cuss,” though coarse and jarring, is far more pleasant to the mother’s ear than “Poor child, he is so sensitive and bashful.”