And again we repeat, women do not admire bashful men. While they may pity, a woman secretly despises a man who is really or appears to be afraid of women. A diffident fellow never was nor never will be a favorite with the ladies. It is your easy-going, self-possessed, talking chaps who are the popular ones. This is illustrated in any assemblage of both sexes. Take a party, for instance, early in the evening when matters are a little frigid. The ladies are inclined to congregate in groups by themselves, with shy glances towards the gentlemen, whose inclinations seem to be that of making wall-ornaments of themselves. Presently there will enter the room a fellow who is not quite certain if he understands what the word “bashfulness” means. He goes up to a group of ladies, smiles and bows to all, shakes hands with some, and is in felicity right away, to the envy and admiration of the wall-ornament chaps.
While young ladies are timid and retiring, they dislike the exhibition of these qualities by men. This cannot be better illustrated than by noticing how a young man from the city, with his easy manners, his self-assurance, and ready ways, will go into a country village and “cut out” the fellows right and left, making himself a favorite with the girls in an amazing short time. And this fellow may be only a shallow-brained fop from some city dry goods store, where he is engaged measuring out ribbons from 8 A. M. till 6 P. M. His education is not worth speaking of; he smokes; he gets drunk making New Year’s calls; he don’t go to church; his moral character will not bear severe inspection, and yet this fellow goes to the country, and even the sensible girls rather admire him, and are well pleased to see him coming up the walk for an evening’s visit. The best of the country beaux have received a good education at the academy; they are clear in head and sound in body, they are able to marry, owning their own business, or soon to do so, and yet the company of a pop-in-jay chap from the city is openly preferred to that of these substantial and worthy country young men. And they do not understand it, though it is plain enough. The city fellow brings with him an air of the great world outside this country village. For years he has read the morning paper as regularly as he has taken his breakfast, therefore he is informed of all the events of the day. He can tell you the present mental condition of Queen Victoria, what the latest news is from Mormondom, or how Prince Jim Jund is progressing with his railroad enterprise in Africa. He can discuss politics with the father, talk with mother concerning the last General Religious Convention, and with the young ladies fairly effervesces with small talk. And here he has at immense advantage the country young men, whose current literature probably consists of the Weekly County paper, fearfully dry and dull, a city story, or Agricultural paper, and Ayre’s last Almanac. With these only for his mental food, how can a young man make himself entertaining and agreeable with chatty talk on the light topics of the day?
The city chap is brim full of pleasant gossip. He don’t sit cross-legged, twisting his hat and talking tedious farm-talk to the “old man,” while he is dying to be visiting with the women-folks.
He has long been in contact with people—the world—and constant friction has rubbed out any awkwardness he may have possessed years ago. There is an agreeable ease and freedom in his manner, as there is in that of all genuine city people, and it could not well be otherwise. In his capacity of salesman in a large city retail store, he has come in contact with all classes of ladies. He don’t blush now when addressed by one of them. The sight of bright eyes and pretty ankles does not throw him into a state of flutteration, as it does our country friend. He isn’t afraid of the women much—not much. He does not class them with the angel species, to converse with whom requires great courage and moral force. He has learned by considerable unpleasant experience that a great many of the gentler sex have brisk little tempers, and some spiteful, harassing ways, and tongues that can say sharp things:—in fact, who are very much mortal, and so, not considering them either doves or angels, he experiences no trepidation in their society whatever.
Again, our city fellow, rusticating in the country, and having it very much his own way with the damsels, is well dressed. His clothes are probably not of expensive material, but they are of excellent fit, and gives his person a stylish, genteel appearance.
That a person well dressed receives respect and attention that would not possibly be shown him were he poorly or slovenly clothed is a fact so familiar to all that it would be absurd to discuss it.
The matter of Dress is of so much importance as concerns the feeling of Bashfulness, that we shall consider it fully in another chapter.