English as She is Wrote / Showing Curious Ways in which the English Language may be made to Convey Ideas or obscure them.

by Anonymous

He oft would whale Jack with the cat, And say, "My buck, doe you like that?

"What makes you stag around so, say? The catamounts to something, hey?"

Then he would seal it with an oath, And say: "You are a lazy sloth!

"I'll starve you down, my sailor fine, Until for beef and porcupine!"

And, fairly horse with fiendish laughter, Would say, "Henceforth, mind what giraffe ter!"

In short, the many risks he ran Might well a llama braver man;

Then he was wrecked and castor shore While feebly clinging to anoa;

Hyena cleft among the rocks He crept, sans shoes and minus ox.

And when he fain would go to bed, He had to lion leaves instead.

Then Sue would say, with troubled face, "How koodoo live in such a place?"