Why should the “evil one” make a good husband? Because the deuce can never be-tray!
Why is money often moist? Because it’s frequently dew (due) in the morning, and mist (missed) at night.
What part of a lady’s face in January is like a celebrated fur? Chin-chilly!
What’s the difference between a calf and a lady who lets her dress draggle in the mud? One sucks milk, the other—unfortunately for our boots—mucks silk.
What is the best word of command to give a lady who is crossing a muddy road? Dress up in front, close (clothes) up behind.
What is that from which you may take away the whole, and yet have some left? The word whole-some.
Complete, you’ll own, I commonly am seen
On garments new, and old, the rich, the mean;
On ribbons gay I court your admiration,
But yet I’m oft a cause for much vexation
To those on whom I make a strong impression;
The meed, full oft, of folly or transgression;
Curtail me, I become a slender shred,
And ’tis what I do before I go to bed,
But an excursion am without my head;
Again complete me, next take off my head,
Then will be seen a savory dish instead;
Again behead me, and, without dissection,
I’m what your fruit is when in full perfection;
Curtailed—the verb to tear appears quite plain;
Take head and tail off,—I alone remain.
Stripe; strip; trip; tripe; ripe; rip; I.
Why is an artist stronger than a horse? Because he can draw the capitol at Washington all by himself, and take it clean away in his pocket if necessary.