What became of Lot when his wife was turned into a pillar of salt? He took a fresh one.
What’s the difference between a specimen of plated goods and Columbus? One is a dish-cover, the other a dis(h)coverer.
What is the best way to hide a bear; it doesn’t matter how big he is—bigger the better? Skin him.
I was before man, I am over his doom,
And I dwell on his mind like a terrible gloom.
In my garments the whole Creation I hold,
And these garments no being but God can unfold.
Look upward to heaven I baffle your view,
Look into the sea and your sight I undo.
Look back to the Past—I appear like a power,
That locks up the tale of each unnumbered hour.
Look forth to the Future, my finger will steal
Through the mists of the night, and affix its dread seal.
Ask the flower why it grows, ask the sun why it shines,
Ask the gems of the earth why they lie in its mines;
Ask the earth why it flies through the regions of space,
And the moon why it follows the earth in its race;
And each object my name to your query shall give,
And ask you again why you happened to live.
The world to disclose me pays terrible cost,
Yet, when I’m revealed, I’m instantly lost.
Mystery.
Why is a Jew in a fever like a diamond? Because he’s a Jew-ill (jewel).
Why is a rakish Hebrew like this joke? Because he’s a Jew de spree (jeu d’esprit).
What is the difference between Solomon and Rothschild? One was king of the Jews, the other Jew of the kings.
Why are lawyers like shears? Because they don’t cut each other, but only what comes between them.
Why is the law like a flight of rockets? Because there is a great expense of powder, the cases are well got up, the reports are excellent, but the sticks are sure to come to the ground.