Why is a pretty girl’s pleased-merry-bright-laughing eye no better than an eye destroyed? Because it’s an-eye-elated.
What is the first thing you do when you get into bed? You make an impression.
What’s the difference between a professional piano-forte player and one that hears him? One plays for his pay, the other pays for his play.
What makes a pet dog wag his tail when he sees his master? Because he’s got one to wag.
What stone should have been placed at the gate of Eden after the expulsion? Adam ain’t in! (adamantine.)
My number, definite and known,
Is ten times ten, told ten times o’er;
Though half of me is one alone,
And half exceeds all count and score.
Thou-sand.
At what time was Adam married? Upon his wedding Eve.
Why are cats like unskillful surgeons? Because they mew-till-late and destroy patients.
What is the proper length for ladies’ crinoline? A little above two feet.