Why is a rheumatic person like a glass window? Because he is full of pains (panes).
Why are the fixed stars like wicked old people? Because they scintillate (sin till late).
Why is the profession of a dentist always precarious? Because he lives from hand to mouth.
Why is boots at an hotel like an editor? Because he polishes the understandings of his patrons.
Where does a similarity exist between malt and beer? In the taxing of the one and fining of the other.
Why may turnkeys be said to have extraordinary powers of digestion? Because they bolt doors.
When is a river not a river? When it is high (eye) water.
Why is a very plain, common-place female a wonderful woman? Because she is an extraordinary one.
Why is your eye like a schoolmaster using corporal punishment? Because it has a pupil under the lash.