Why is a beautiful woman bathing like a valuable submarine machine? Because she is a diving belle (bell).
Why is a cabman, whatever his rank, a very ambitious person? Because he is always looking for a hire (higher).
Why should a broken-hearted single young man lodger offer his heart in payment to his landlady? Because it is rent.
Why is a horse constantly ridden and never fed not likely to be starved? Because he has always a bit in his mouth.
Why were the Russian accounts of the Crimean battles like the English and French? Because they were all lies (allies).
Why is a tiger hunted in an Indian jungle, like a piece of presentation plate? Because it is chased and charged by the ounce.
Why is a man going to be married like a felon being conducted to the scaffold? Because he is being led to the altar (halter).
If there was a bird on a perch, and you wanted the perch, how would you get it without disturbing the bird? Wait till it flew away.
When two men exchange snuff-boxes, why is the transaction a profitable one? Because they are getting scent per scent (cent per cent).
Why are young ladies the fastest travelers in the world? Because the day before marriage they are at the Cape of Good Hope, and the next day afterwards they are in the United States.