Epitaph for a cannibal—“One who loved his fellow-men.”

A squeeze in grain—Treading on a man’s corn.

To get a cheap dancing lesson—Drop a flat-iron on your favorite corn.

Why is a candle with a “long nose” like a contented man? Because it wants (s)nuffin.

When does rain seem inclined to be studious? When it’s pouring over a book-stall.

A hand-to-hand affair—Marriage.

Bridal chambers—Harness room.

The only kind of cake children don’t cry after—A cake of soap.

Housewife’s motto—Whatever thou dost, dust it with all thy might.

Why is life the riddle of riddles? Because we must all give it up.