When is a soldier like a carpenter? When he is going to drill.
When does a farmer have the best opportunity of overlooking his pigs? When he has a sty in his eye!
Why is the letter K like a pig’s tail? Because it’s at the end of pork!
Why is a sporting clergyman like a soldier who runs from battle? Because he departs from his sphere of action.
If a Colt’s pistol has six barrels, how many ought a horse pistol to have? Give it up.
If a bee could stand on its hind legs, what blessing would it invoke? A bee-attitude!
What prevents a running river running right away? Why, it’s tied up!
What was the color of the wind and waves in a storm? The wind blue—the waves rose.
A modern spinning-wheel—the bicycle.
How can you, by changing the pronunciation of a word only, turn mirth into crime? By making man’s laughter man-slaughter!