Why are convicts like old maids going to be married? Because they go off in transports!
State the difference between a grocer selling a pound of sugar, and an apothecary’s boy with a pestle and mortar? One weighs a pound, the other pounds away.
Why is a rumseller’s trade a profitable one to follow? Because, by conducting it with good spirits, he has more bargains than most others, and all his drafts (draughts) are paid.
Why are two young ladies kissing each other an emblem of Christianity? Because they are doing unto each other as they would men should do unto them!
What is the best day for making pan-cakes? Fri-day!
Why am I, when prudently laying by money, like myself when foolishly squandering it? Because in either case I am—ass!
What word is it which, by changing a single letter, becomes its own opposite? United; untied.
Why, if a man has a gallery of paintings, may you pick his pockets? Because he has picked-yours (pictures)!
Why is a pair of skates like an apple? Because they have both occasioned the fall of man.