Why is a curtain lecture like darkness? Because it lasts from night till morning.
Why is the root of the tongue like a dejected man? Because it’s down in the mouth.
When is it a good thing to lose your temper? When it’s a bad one.
On what day of the year do women talk least? On the shortest day.
What is the best way to keep a man’s love? Not to return it.
Why is a wedding-ring like eternity? Because it has no beginning and no end.
What is that which ties two persons and only one touches? A wedding-ring.
Why should a man never marry a woman named Ellen? Because he rings his own (K)nell.
Why does a young lady prefer her mother’s fortune to her father’s? Because, though she likes patrimony, she still better likes matrimony.
Why is a deceptive woman like a seamstress? Because she is not what she seams (seems).