Why does a dressmaker never lose her hooks? Because she has an eye to each of them.
What goes most against a farmer’s grain? His reaper.
What is the difference between the Emperor of Russia and a beggar? One issues manifestoes, the other manifests toes without ’is shoes.
Why is the Emperor of Russia like a greedy school-boy on Christmas-day? Because he’s confounded Hung(a)ry, and longs for Turkey.
You name me once, and I am famed
For deeds of noble daring;
You name me twice, and I am found
In savage customs sharing?
Tar-tar.
What part of a bag of grain is like a Russian soldier? A coarse sack (cossack).
Why is it that you cannot starve in the desert? Because of the sand-which-is-there, to say nothing of the Pyramids of Ch(e)ops.
The wind howled, and the heaving sea
Touched the clouds, then backward rolled;
And the ship strove most wondrously,
With ten feet water in her hold.