The night is darkened, and my first
No sailor’s eye could see.
And ere the day should dawn again,
Where might the sailor be?
Before the rising of the sun
The ship lay on the strand,
And silent was the minute-gun
That signaled to the land.
The crew my second had secured,
And they all knelt down to pray,
And on their upturned faces fell
The early beam of day.
The howling of the wind had ceased,
And smooth the waters ran,
And beautiful appeared my whole
To cheer the heart of man.
Land-scape.
What is the wind like in a storm? Like to blow your hat off.
What is the difference between an honest and a dishonest laundress? One irons your linen and the other steals it.
Why are artists like washerwomen? Because they are not satisfied until their works are “hung on the line.”
A poor woman carrying a basket of apples, was met by three boys, the first of whom bought half of what she had, and then gave her back ten; the second boy bought a third of what remained, and gave her back two; and the third bought half of what she had now left, and returned her one, after which she found that she had twelve apples remaining. What number had she at first? From the twelve remaining, deduct one, and eleven is the number she sold the last boy, which was half she had; her number at that time, therefore, was twenty-two. From twenty-two deduct two, and the remaining twenty was two-thirds of her prior stock, which was therefore thirty. From thirty deduct ten, and the remainder twenty is half her original stock; consequently she had at first forty apples.
Why did the young lady return the dumb water? Because it didn’t answer.