There are twelve birds in a covey; Jones kills a brace, then how many remain? None; for—unless they are idiots—they fly away!

Why is a very amusing man like a very bad shot? Because he keeps the game alive!

What is the height of folly? Spending your last dollar on a purse!

What is a very good definition of nonsense? Bolting a door with a boiled carrot.

What soap is the hardest? Cast-steel (castile)!

I wander when the night is dark,
I tread forbidden ground;
I rouse the house-dog’s sullen bark,
And o’er the world am found.
My victims fill the gloomy jail,
And to the gallows speed;
Though in the dark, with visage pale,
I do unlawful deed,
There is an eye o’erwatching me,
A law I disobey;
And what I gain I faster lose,
When Justice owns its sway.
Though sometimes I accumulate
A fortune soon, and vast—
A beggar at the good man’s gate,
My pupil stands at last.

Dishonesty.

My first is irrational,
My second is rational,
My third mechanical,
My whole scientific?

Horse-man-ship.