When is a woman not a woman? When she is a little cross.
Why is drunkenness like a ragged coat? Because it is a bad habit.
Why is a proud lady like a music book? Because she is full of airs.
Why is a pianist like the warder of a prison? Because he fingers the keys.
Why is an avaricious merchant like a Turk? Because he worships the profit.
When is a plant to be dreaded more than a mad dog? When it is madder.
Why is a harmonium like the Bank of England? Because it issues notes.
Why is love like a candle? Because the longer it burns the less it becomes.
Why can no man say his time is his own? Because it is made up of hours (ours).
Why is a hen walking like a base conspiracy? Because it is a foul (fowl) proceeding.