Why is lip-salve like a duenna? Because it’s meant to keep the chaps off!
Why are the bars of a convent like a blacksmith’s apron? Because they keep the sparks off!
Apropos of convents, what man had no father? Joshua, the son of Nun!
Why is confessing to a father confessor like killing bees. Because you unbuzz-em (unbosom)!
Why, when you are going out of town, does a railroad conductor cut a hole in your ticket? To let you pass through.
What is that which never asks questions, yet requires many answers? The door-knocker.
How many cows’ tails would it take to reach from New York to Boston, upon the rule of eleven and five-eighth inches to the foot, and having all the ground leveled between the two places? One, if it was long enough.
What is the only form in this world which all nations, barbarous, civilized, and otherwise, are agreed upon following? The female form.
What is the greatest instance on record of the power of the magnet? A young lady, who drew a gentleman thirteen miles and a half every Sunday of his life.