My first was one of high degree,—
So thought he.
He fell in love with the Lady Blank,
With her eyes so bright and form so lank.
She was quite the beauty to his mind,
And had two little pages tripping behind,
But Lady Blank was already wed;
And ’twas said
That her lord had made a jealous shock.
So he kept her in with his wonderful lock.
My second hung dangling by his side,
With two little chains by which it was tied.
The lady unto her lover spoke:
(A capital joke),
“If you can pick that terrible lock,
Then at my chamber you may knock;
I’ll open my door in good disguise,
And you shall behold my two little eyes.”
Said the nobleman of high degree:
“Let—me—see!
I know none so clever at these little jobs,
As the Yankee mechanic, John Hobbs, John Hobbs;
I’ll send for him, and he shall undo,
In two little minutes the door to you.”
At night John Hobbs he went to work,
And with a jerk
Turn’d back the lock, and called to my first,
To see that my second the ward had burst—
When my first, with delight he opened the door,
There came from within a satirical roar,
For my first and my whole stood face to face,
A queer-looking pair in a queer-looking place.
Don-key.
Why is a leaky barrel like a coward? Because it runs.
Why are good resolutions like fainting ladies? Because they want carrying out.
Take away my first letter, I remain unchanged; take away my second letter, there is no apparent alteration in me; take away all my letters and I still continue unchanged. The postman.
Why is love always represented as a child? Because he never reaches the age of discretion.