Why is love like a canal-boat? Because it’s an internal transport.
Why is a new-born baby like a storm? Because it begins with a squall.
O’Donoghue came to the hermit’s cell;
He climbed the ladder, he pulled the bell;
“I have ridden,” said he, “with the saint to dine
On his richest meal and his reddest wine.”
The hermit hastened my first to fill
With water from the limpid rill;
And “drink,” quoth he, of the “juice, brave knight,
Which breeds no fever, and prompts no fight.”
The hermit hastened my second to spread
With stalks of lettuce and crusts of bread;
And “taste,” quoth he, “of the cates, fair guest,
Which bring no surfeit, and break no rest.”
Hasty and hungry the chief explored
My whole with the point of his ready sword,
And found, as yielded the latch and lock,
A pasty of game and a flagon of hock.
Cup-board.
When is a school-master like a man with one eye? When he has a vacancy for a pupil.
Why are dogs and cats like school-masters and their pupils? Because one is of the canine (canin’), the other of the feline (feelin’) species.