"Tough luck to have to get out and grab a mess of snakes any time you want an extry puff."
HARD TO PLEASE
The rather ferocious-appearing husband who had taken his wife to the beach for a holiday scowled heavily at an amateur photographer, and rumbled in a threatening bass voice:
"What the blazes d'ye mean, photographin' my wife? I saw ye when ye done it."
The man addressed cringed, and replied placatingly:
"You're mistaken, really! I wouldn't think of doing such a thing."
"Ye wouldn't, eh?" the surly husband growled, still more savagely. "And why not? I'd like to know. She's the handsomest woman on the beach."
HASTE
The colored man was condemned to be hanged, and was awaiting the time set for execution in a Mississippi jail. Since all other efforts had failed him, he addressed a letter to the governor, with a plea for executive clemency. The opening paragraph left no doubt as to his urgent need:
"Dear Boss: The white folks is got me in dis jail fixin' to hang me on Friday mornin' and here it is Wednesday already."