"How's that new hand o' your'n?"
"Cuss the critter!" was the bitter reply. "He ain't a hand—he's a sore thumb."
* * *
A savage old boar got into a garden, and was doing much damage. When two men tried to drive it out, the animal charged. One of the two climbed a tree, the other dodged, and laid hold on the boar's tail. He hung on desperately, and man and beast raced wildly round and round the tree. Finally, the man shouted between gasps:
"For heaven's sake, Bill, climb down here, and help me leggo this ornery old hog!"
HELPFULNESS
Many a mayor is a friend to the people—just like his honor in the following story.
A taxpayer entered the office of the water registrar in a small city, and explained himself and his business there as follows:
"My name is O'Rafferty. And my cellar is full of wather, and my hins will all be drowned intirely if it ain't fixed. And I'm here to inform yez that I'm wantin' it fixed."