"It's kind o' which and t' other," the native confessed. "Obadiah declares its all along o' his chewin' an' smokin' an' snuffin' day in an' day out, fer nigh onto a hundred year; an' Ebenezer declares he has his health becase he never touched the filthy weed."
TOILETTE DETAILS
The little girl who had observed certain details in the toilette preparations of her elders, was observed by her mother at work over her most elaborate doll in a somewhat strange manner.
"Whatever are you trying to do with your doll, Mary?" the mother asked.
"I'm just going to put her to bed, mummy," the child replied seriously. "I've taken off her hair, but I can't get her teeth out."
TONGUE
An old lady in the London parish of the famous Doctor Gill made a nuisance of herself by constant interference in the affairs of others. As a gossip she was notorious. It appeared to her that the neckbands worn by the Doctor were longer than was fitting. She therefore took occasion to visit the clergyman, and harangued him at length on the sinfulness of pride. Then she exhibited a pair of scissors, and suggested that she should cut down the offending neckbands to a size fitting her ideas of propriety. The Doctor listened patiently to her exhortation, and at the end offered her the neckbands on which to work her will. She triumphantly trimmed them to her taste, and returned the shorn remnants to the minister.
"And now," said the Doctor, "you must do me a good turn also."
"That I will, Doctor," the woman declared heartily. "What can it be?"