Author (delighted): "Oh, really. Did you find it so amusing?"
Lady: "Well, the fact is I went to sleep on the top of it."
* * *
Employer (inspecting a very inflated bill for work): "Look here—how did you get at this amount?"
Odd Jobs Man: "Well, Sir, didn't know how you'd prefer me to charge it up, so I just charged by time."
Employer: "Oh, really! I thought you must have been charging by eternity."
* * *
Tourist: "Have you any cold meat?"
Waiter: "Well, we have some that's nearly cold, Sir."
* * *