Lady: "If you please, Cook, may we have steak and onions for lunch to-day?"
Cook: "You can have steak, but I'm afraid I can't let you have onions. You see, I'm going out this afternoon, and onions always make my eyes so red."
* * *
Small Boy (on being told by cousin that she is engaged to be married): "Oh! (long pause) and what did your husband say when he engaged you?"
* * *
Master: "But why do you want to get married, Jones?"
Butler: "Well, Sir, I don't want my name to die out."
* * *
Artist (in desperation): "That, Sir, I consider the finest in my exhibition. You can have it for half the catalogue price."
The Visitor: "Bless my soul! You don't say so. By the way, what is the price of the catalogue?"