* * *
"Well, Mollie, how do you like your new teacher?"
"I half like her, and I half don't like her. But I think I half don't like her most."
* * *
"Please, Mr. Grafto, the gentleman on the next floor presents his compliments and says, seeing as how you can foretell the future, would you be so good as to let him know how long it will be before your bath stops overflowing through his ceiling?"
* * *
Old Lady (interrogating her chauffeur's small boy): "Well, my little man, and do you know who I am?"
Small Boy: "Yes, you're the old lady what goes for rides in my daddy's car."
* * *
Parent: "I should like you to have 'good' in your report, and not always 'fair.'"