Young Hopeful: "I daresay you would, Dad. But, you see, I'm an ordinary boy of ordinary parents, and that's an ordinary report."

* * *

Optimist: "Cheer up, old man. Things aren't as bad as they seem."

Pessimist: "No, but they seem so."

* * *

OUR MODERN INFANT

Genial Uncle: "Well, old chap, we've not done anything together for a long time. How about the Zoo next Sunday, eh?"

Small Boy: "Thanks very much. I can't say off-hand, but I'll ring you up."

* * *

Little Girl (to Bride at wedding reception): "You don't look nearly as tired as I should have thought."