Neighbor (bearer of message, to billiard enthusiast): "You're wanted at 'ome, Charlie. Yer wife's just presented yer with another rebate off yer income-tax."
* * *
Joan (whose mother has just bought her a pair of woolen gloves): "Oh, Mummy, I wish you had got kid. I hate this kind; they make my sweets so hairy."
* * *
Lady (to applicant for situation as cook): "Have you been accustomed to have a kitchen-maid under you?"
Cook: "In these days we never speak of having people 'under us.' But I have had colleagues."
* * *
Father: "Look here, Billy, Mr. Smith called at the office this morning about your fight with his boy yesterday."
Son: "Did he? I hope you got on as well as I did."
* * *