Artist (condescendingly): "I did this last summer. It really isn't much good."

Candid Friend: "No, it certainly isn't. But who told you?"

* * *

BLUE BLOOD

Mrs. Profiteer: "Is this a pedigree dog?"

Dealer: "Pedigree? I should just think 'e is, Mum. Why, if the animal could only talk 'e wouldn't speak to either of us."

* * *

Small Bridesmaid (loudly, in middle of ceremony): "Mummie, are we all getting married?"

* * *