Small Girl: "To-day's my mummy's wedding-day."

Smaller Girl (with air of superiority): "My mummy was married years ago."

* * *

"Wot's a minimum wage, Albert?"

"Wot yer gets for goin' to yer work. If yer wants ter make a bit more yer does a bit o' work for it."

* * *

Office Boy (anxious to go to football match): "May I have the afternoon off, Sir? My grand——"

Employer: "Oh, yes, I've heard that before. Your grandmother died last week."

Office Boy: "Yes, Sir; but—my grandfather's getting married again this afternoon."

* * *