Minister's Wife: "My husband was asking only this morning why you weren't in the habit of attending church."

Latest Inhabitant: "Well, you see, it does so cut into one's Sundays."

* * *

"Two mistakes here, waiter—one in your favor, one in mine."

"In your favor, Sir? Where?"

* * *

Mistress: "Oh, cook, be sure and put plenty of nuts in the cake."

Cook: "You don't catch me crackin' no more nuts to-day. I've very near broke me jaw already."

* * *