Gushing Lady: "Yes, she's married to a lawyer, and a good honest fellow too."
Cynic: "Bigamist!"
* * *
Mother: "Augustus, you naughty boy, you've been smoking. Do you feel very bad, dear?"
Augustus: "Thank you—I'm only dying."
* * *
New Butler: "At what time, Sir, would you wish to dine as a rule?"
Profiteer: "What time do the best people dine?"
New Butler: "At different times, Sir."
Profiteer: "Very well. Then I, too, will dine at different times."