The Count: "I mean zat I am vorth zat moch to you."

* * *

"I suppose your landlord asks a lot for the rent of this place?"

"A lot! He asks me for it nearly every week."

* * *

Mother (to little girl who had been sent to the hen-house for eggs): "Well, dear, were there no eggs?"

Little Girl: "No, mummie, only the one the hens use for a pattern."

* * *

"It's funny that you should be so tall. Your brother, the artist, is short, isn't he?"

He (absently): "Yes, usually."