She: "When one is really thirsty, there is nothing so good as pure, cold water."
He: "I guess I have never been really thirsty."
* * *
A QUALIFIED STATEMENT
"Well! we've missed that confounded train. What time will the next one be here?"
"If the engine doesn't break down, and the track doesn't spread, and they don't run into any cows, and the up-freight isn't behind time, and the swing bridge isn't open, it ought to be here in about two hours."
* * *
The Count: "I weesh to marry your daughtaire, saire! I am vorth one hundred thousand dollaire."
The Millionaire: "But I thought you were a bankrupt."