"Well, what are you sneering about? You don't seem to have much faith in my good resolutions."
"I was just wondering if you had taken the paving contract for the next world."
* * *
CLASSIFIED
Mrs. Bargain: "Oh, Ethel! I have just talked Edward into giving me the money for a new hat."
Mr. Bargain: "Which I shall enter in my accounts as 'Hush Money.'"
* * *
A SOLUTION
The Mistress: "Oh, Jane, if I had known who sent those flowers I would have returned them unopened."