The Maid: "Shure, Miss, couldn't ye take a few out, and sind the rist back unopened?"

* * *

ENCOURAGING

He: "My train goes in fifteen minutes. Can you not give me one ray of hope before I leave you forever?"

She: "Er—that clock is half an hour fast."

* * *

AN ALIAS

Miss Hen: "I demand an explanation! You told me that your name was plain 'Mr. Rooster,' and that poet just now addressed you as 'Chanticleer'!"

* * *

Lady (to prospective daily housemaid): "The hours will be from nine to six-thirty, with an hour and a half off for dinner."