Guest: "Well, good-bye, Old Man!—and you've really got a very nice little place here!"

Host: "Yes; but it's rather bare, just now. I hope the trees will have grown a good bit before you're back, Old Man!"

* * *

She: "No! I can't give you another dance. But I'll introduce you to the prettiest girl in the room!"

He: "But I don't want to dance with the prettiest girl in the room. I want to dance with you!"

* * *

"I warn you, Sir! The discourtesy of this bank is beyond all limits. One word more and I—I withdraw my overdraft."

* * *

Wife (at upper window): "Where you bin this hour of the night?"

"I've bin at me union, considerin' this 'ere strike."