JUSTIFICATION

Wife: "Two bottles of ginger ale, dear?"

He: "Why, yes. Have you forgotten that this is the anniversary of our wedding-day?"

* * *

First Flapper: "The cheek of that conductor! He glared at me as if I hadn't paid any fare."

Second Flapper: "And what did you do?"

First Flapper: "I just glared back at him—as if I had!"

* * *

Mollie (who has been naughty and condemned to "no toast"): "Oh, Mummy! Anything but that! I'd rather have a hard smack—anywhere you like."