Lady (to doctor, who has volunteered to treat her pet dog): "And if you find you can't cure him, Doctor, will you please put him out of pain?—and of course you must charge me just as for an ordinary patient."
* * *
Governess: "Well, Mollie, what are little girls made of?"
Mollie: "Sugar and spice and all that's nice."
Governess: "And what are little boys made of?"
Mollie: "Snips and snails and puppy dogs' tails. I told Bobbie that yesterday, and he could hardly believe it."
* * *
"I say, dear old bean, will you lend me your motor-bike?"
"Of course. Why ask?"
"Well, I couldn't find the beastly thing."