* * *
Old Gentleman (to new gardener): "Why do you always pull your barrow instead of pushing it?"
The Gardener: "'Cause I 'ates the sight of the blooming thing."
* * *
"My dear, you're not going to the links to-day?"
"Oh, yes, Auntie. I shall try and put in a round."
"But it's pouring! Why, I wouldn't send a dog out to golf in such weather."
* * *
Lady (who has purchased a ready-made dress): "Tiresome this dress is. The fasteners come undone as quick as you do them up."
Cook (acting as lady's-maid): "Yes'm, they do. That's why I wouldn't have it myself when I tried it on at the shop the other day."