"No, sir," was the reply.
"And why not?"
"Please, sir, because you wasn't."
* * *
Salesman: "Another advantage of this machine, madam, is that it is fool-proof."
Sweet Thing (placidly): "No doubt, to the ordinary kind. But you don't know my husband."
* * *
The Stage Manager: "Now then, we're all ready, run up the curtain."
The New Hand: "Wot yer talkin' about—'run up the curtain'—think I'm a bloomin' squirrel?"