Dollie: Yes, Miss Fethers is a pretty girl, but she doesn't wear very well.
Pollie (kindly): I know, but the poor thing wears the best she has, I suppose.
* * *
TROUBLESOME CUSTOMER
A woman who had visited every department of one of the big London shops and worried the majority of the salesmen without spending a penny, so exasperated one of them that he ventured to make a mild protest. "Madam," he asked, "are you shopping here?"
The lady looked surprised, but not by any means annoyed. "Certainly!" she replied. "What else should I be doing?"
For a moment the salesman hesitated; then he blurted out, "Well, madam, I thought perhaps you were taking an inventory!"
* * *
Officer (to sailor who has rescued him from drowning): Thank you, Smith. To-morrow I will thank you before all the crew at retreat.
Sailor: Don't do that, sir, they'll half kill me!