* * *
Steward: Can I do anything for you, sir?
Passenger (faintly): You might present my compliments to the chief engineer and ask him if there is any hope of the boilers blowing up.
* * *
Lady (to box office manager): Can you tell me what they are playing to-morrow night?
* * *
Box Office Manager: "You Never Can Tell," Madam.
Lady: Don't they even let you know?
* * *
Village Idiot: Beg pardon, mam, seeing you're painting the church, I thought I'd better tell you the clock is ten minutes fast.