* * *
NOT WORTH MUCH
The tourist from the East had stopped to change tires in a desolate region of the far South. "I suppose," he remarked to a native onlooker, "that even in these isolated parts the bare necessities of life have risen tremendously in price?"
"Y'er right, stranger," replied the native, "and it ain't worth drinkin' when ye get it."
* * *
NOTHING TO FEAR
Irate Golfer: "You must take your children away from here, madam; this is no place for them."
Mother: "Now don't you worry—they can't 'ear nothin' new—their father was a sergeant-major, 'e was!"
* * *