An Irishman visiting a friend in the hospital began to take an interest in the other patients.
“What are you in here for?” he asked one.
“I’ve got tonsillitis, and I’ve got to have my tonsils cut out,” was the answer.
“And you?” he asked another.
“I’ve got blood poisoning in my arm, and they are going to cut it off,” was the reply.
“Heavens!” said Pat, in horror, “This ain’t no place for me. I’ve got a cold in my head.”
“Mike, did you ever catch frogs?” “Yes, sor.” “What did you bait with?” “Bate ’em with a shtick, sor.”