Pat had just arrived from Ireland when Mike, who had been in America for some years, spied him.
“Faith, Pat!” exclaimed Mike, “what are you doing over here?”
“I’ve come over,” answered Pat, “to try if I can make an honest living.”
“Begorra, Mike, me boy, that’s dead aisy over here, for it’s dommed little competition you’ll have in this country.”
In the court-house an Irishman stood charged with stealing a watch from a fellow citizen. He stoutly denied the impeachment, and brought a counter-accusation against his accuser for assault and battery committed with a frying-pan. The judge was inclined to take a common sense view of the case, and regarding the prisoner, said, “Why did you allow the prosecutor, who is a smaller man than yourself, to assault you, without resistance? Had you nothing in your hand to defend yourself with?” “Bedad, your honor,” answered Pat, “I had his watch, but what was that against a frying-pan?”
Pat (reading notice on bank door)—“This bank will reopen after the meeting of the assignees.” “Begob, it will be a long time before their assandknees meet.”