NONE OF HIS BUSINESS.

Pat (shyly)—I want to see some weddin’ rings.

Jeweler—Eighteen karats?

Pat (loudly)—No, I’ve been atin’ onions and I don’t know that it is any of your business what I’ve been atin’.


Pat: “Phwat was the last card Oi dealt ye, Mike?”

Mike: “A spade.”

Pat: “Oi knew it was, Oi saw ye spit on yer hand before ye picked it up.”