“Pa, did you know ma long before you married her?”
“No, my boy, I didn’t know her until long after I married her!”
Anybody can lead a horse to a drinking place, but nobody can force him to drink. How different it is with men!
Riggs—“Where did you get that black eye?”
Jiggs—“Told the conductor I was travelling on my face, and he punched the ticket.”
Ethics Prof.—What becomes of a drinker when he dies?
S. S.—Why, since his “spirit” is gone, he gets a “bier.”