Woods—Who is the champion light-weight in your town?
Lewis—My grocer.
“She asked her husband for a thousand dollars and he gave her assent.”
“The mean thing!”
A thief was lately caught breaking into a song. He had already got through the first two bars, when a policeman came up and hit him with a club.
A young man asked a widow to marry him.
“What’s the difference between myself and Willard Pond’s Jersey cow?” asked the widow.